Category: Uncategorized

http://insider.foxnews.com/2018/08/23/retracing-steps-mollie-tibbetts-street-where-she-was-last-seen-alive

https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/08/fox-news-mollie-tibbetts-fixation-is-astonishingly-hypocritical.html

http://video.foxnews.com/v/5820178863001/?#sp=show-clips

http://video.foxnews.com/v/5817233235001/?#sp=show-clips

It was nice to understand it.  It is very beautiful.

I didn’t know that Chicago is as far north as Iowa City.  Brooklyn is between Des Moines and the University of Iowa.

It is near Interstate 80 and not far from another major road, so it is something of a truck stop.  There is a lake with cabins and houses; the houses are inexpensive but the taxes are fairly high.  The population is only 1,500 so there cannot be more than a few restaurants or things to do on a Saturday night.

It doesn’t seem like anyone even wants to understand what led him to do it.  He is just a violent illegal immigrant and she was a pretty girl.

You can watch the videos if you want to of the killer in the small, informal, country courthouse.  He is alone and scared to death.

We can also watch the sheriff.  Is it fair to say he is responsible?

Paul Manafort and Michael Cohen were really close to President Trump.  Who else has fallen?  There are a few models, but the publicity and the payoffs probably have not hurt their careers.

I think I would rather pay for the democrats’ spending than Trump’s legal problems.

https://www.politico.com/story/2018/08/14/rick-gates-extramarital-affairs-manafort-trial-777352

It is so hard to tell because the big newspapers at least (NYTimes, WashPo) are so firmly against Trump.  Other major news outlets (CNN, NBC, etc.), I don’t know if it is that one-sided.

It seems Donald Trump is digging a hole he cannot get out of.  Cohen figured it out, others have too, and more will in the future:  there is no reason to be loyal to this man.  Put another way, I’m not taking the (entire) fall.

David Pecker distanced himself.

He has made too many enemies.  I think he is going to have more of them come the November elections.  He has a little over two months to right the ship and, as is always the case, he is digging in deeper.  He is the world’s worst politician.  Everything and everyone he touches…  He is just going to fire someone and try and find someone more loyal.

Fear:  Trump in the White House is coming out soon.

How can it work in the White House and under that kind of scrutiny?  Those who got out fast were really smart.  He prides himself on being able to take the pressure but already he looks worse-off from the stress.

The next two years are not going to be pretty.

Trump himself–it is not his last clinging-hope but eventually it will be one of them–now clings to the illusion that if he is impeached the markets will crash.  I don’t even believe that anymore.  He has just made too many enemies.

The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck

I encourage everyone to read a book by a psychiatrist as it is probably the closest thing you can get to being on the couch without actually doing it.  I do not know if it exists as a genre — it seems like it is mostly self-help books, one-hit wonders, and shrinks who thought writing books was easier and far more lucrative than working hard for patients.  The ones I have read are not memorable because they are poorly written; these men and women are definitely smart and educated but compelling writing is usually not their forte.  The categories and conclusions having to do with all humankind can be hard to take and eventually turn into editorials; why not just read the science.  But again, it is sprinkled-with if not backed-up by real life.  An incentive to finish the whole book is to weed out the biases by the author.

In atypical internet fashion I have tried to avoid preconceptions and reviews.  About all I know is that it took years and was not easy to get published.  I also knew–OK, I cheated–that the parts on love and religion were likely to be difficult to take.  It was a major hit in the late ’70s and early ’80s and it has held on a bit, meaning it is still around but not as a bestseller or psychology staple anymore.  And I knew that it is about narcissism.

[This blog has never been about my personal family stories and, while that may occur someday, it is not my intention in reviewing the book.  I had the book on my shelf and it was a little worn and it had some very important notes in it.  My grandfather, my mother’s father, had either recommended it to me or had given it to me.  I recall carrying it around for a bit but having a hard time really getting into it.  I do not know when I acquired the book, but the notes are from about 15  years after I graduated with a degree in psychology.]

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I need an insurance company and agent that provides the following:

• the ability to change automobiles daily (this one is liability insured, this one isn’t) daily if necessary.
• accessibility to provide details of the options and fees for such changes.
• an annual review of my auto and homeowner’s insurance (policy options and fees) and, especially if an independent agent, a competitive review.
• office hours, phone, and email access; the phone number is listed on my policy and carried in my car:  someone has to answer the phone.
• the ability to do as much as possible regarding my policies online or through 800# access (I do not know why I am denied these).
• an agent who, as needed is available to receive payments, provide reminders, or such “added value” services.

For some reason I have been denied these even after some 10 years as a Safeco customer.  My current agent, Chris Long (#054388) has been unable to fill the void.  He is virtually unavailable by phone; most of the services listed above are unavailable.  Email service can be prompt but it is cryptic and insufficient.  In my last two specific requests for service 1) called to say needed to change vehicles and review (policies renewing in about 3 weeks); no reply at all.  2) I emailed (I have learned he is basically unavailable by phone; doesn’t answer, doesn’t return calls) only to receive no detail on the options available or the costs; 10 days later I received a bill in the mail from Safeco.

In addition, Safeco has refused to provide sufficient agent service over the years; soon after I chose that company my agent changed positions with her small company and I have been in virtual limbo ever since.  Attached are numerous emails providing details of my problems.

I have not heard from my agent after alerting him of these problems over 3 months ago.  I emailed his firm and have not received a reply.  I have been reluctant to submit this complaint hoping the situation would resolve itself.  I paid the premium due 5/2/18 (about $300) to confirm that I am not trying to avoid payment.  I have not paid apparent changes to my polices or additional bills received since because of the issues.  I have also since protested that payment to “put it on hold” with my credit card company as method of displaying my dissatisfaction.

Now I am totally stuck:  I have two cars and cannot insure them properly or to my needs.  Also, my homeowner’s policy has renewed (also 5/2/18 I believe) and I have not been afforded any opportunity for changes or updates.

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To Trina Wolf and others.  If you want to get your son back (and improve your life), show the court you are not an abusive, narcissistic parent.

It is not an attempt to get you.  It is an attempt to help you.

It is hard to understand.  I can explain it.

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Avoidance, Repression, Denial, Suppression.

“The tendency to avoid problems and the emotional suffering inherent in them is the primary basis of all human mental illness.”

– M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled

There is even more.  Displacement, Projection, Reaction Formation, Regression, Rationalization, Sublimation.

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It is a word you hear a lot.  Today we’re going to learn what it means, where it comes from, and what its negative affects are.

OMG, antinarcissism?  Victim mentality.  Poisonous pedagogy.  Narcissistic selfobject mirroring.  I’ve opened a can of worms.

So first I am going to digress:

According to Kohut, maternal misrecognition amounts to a failure to perform the narcissistic selfobject functions of “mirroring”…the cause of a narcissistic disturbance.

Boy that is hard to understand.  But at least we’re getting into real psychology.  I know Ferenczi, Kohut, and Horney.  They are renowned psychologists who wrote and practiced it.  Alice Miller–I never really studied child abuse–I was not familiar with until yesterday.  Poisonous pedagogy does not sound like a fun topic.  These people are taking into account gender (i.e., mother vs. father, son vs. daughter).

What it means is the parent is not paying attention to the identity and originality of the child.  (Louise Turpin!)  That is a/the source of narcissism.  You are not acting like me.  You are not paying attention to me!

Therefore I am going to pay more attention to me.  And I am going to continue it with the people I encounter and especially in the children I raise.  They are deficits in empathy and mirroring.  An “intergenerational cycle of narcissistic abuse.”

Codependency could be an escape.  Perhaps not a real one.  Probably not a real one.

In Miller’s view, when abused for the sake of adults’ needs, children could develop an amazing ability to perceive and respond intuitively, that is, unconsciously, to this need of the mother, or of both parents, for him to take on the role that had unconsciously been assigned to him.

Remember Scott Peterson, he of the murdered pregnant wife and narcissist supreme?  One of his traits was “a powerful antenna” in mirroring his abusive parents.

Then there’s Bobby Fischer, the chess champion.  “Nothing is as important as a human touch” (aka “the most traumatizing experience of all is the absence of emotional giving from a mother or father.”)

I could add (NAME REDACTED) and the “unconscious craving for the dead-end justice of revenge.”  (No “underhanded public humiliation” here!)

Finally there is M. Scott Peck.  I had no idea The Road Less Traveled dealt with a narcissistic mother.  This is major, major stuff.  (My grandfather, my mother’s father, recommended it long ago.  I was arrogant and eschewed pop psychology.  I was wrong.)

It also makes sense–absolutely fascinating–that psychoanalysis may not really help, and it could conflict with, narcissism.

Narcissistic abuse.

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Heart Cameron and, I believe, Tim Wulf, Evergreen Parks & Recreation District.

https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1QipM8BDiX17mLODbwEfkjDX5isjH9TYdtGAcO7ZOq

https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1QipPEuM8Hd0SMiPihi5MOKgD1ouQy2ZIHMF-tBN-h

https://photos.google.com/photo/AF1QipPZn4iVmP_idNvvxGUyiY6B6jk8gdRUkYWLsy_d

How is crime learned?  This is certainly one way.  Ever since I moved here 20 years ago I have struggled with the idea of raising kids here.

Confirmation bias, also called confirmatory bias or myside bias, is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms one’s preexisting beliefs or hypotheses.

That makes sense.  I don’t think it applies to supreme court decisions.  It sure takes a big ego to apply it that way.  And it is pretty sad to lose your child because you have “confirmation bias.”

That’s just a sad story.  And again, it is all those other people who are affected, the next generation, and others too.

You cannot rationalize with an alcoholic, or people with a similar disposition.  It is hard to say where that comes from.  They’re kind of like followers in a cult like NXIVM.  It is not going stop until someone busts it up.  There are no winners.  Everyone is crippled, perhaps for life.

In this particular case, and NXIVM, and many others too, education is an issue.  In the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ and Latter-Day Saints wives have something like a 6th grade education, all of it through the church.  I think it becomes almost like a phobia and self-fulfilling prophecy.  I don’t understand so I can’t understand.  Anyone can get an education if they want to or they can just read (books) and learn, but instead they turn to “my side bias” (and Psychology Today).

Who says there are “sides” anyway?  I guess those who win or lose in court, or marriage, or a baseball game.  Is that therapy?  We–therapist and patient–we have to get over the sides.

I think you have to have a malleable personality to be in a cult.  If you don’t, you will rebel.  You could say that about society in general and marriage too.  You will provide your own confirmation bias.

And that gets back to narcissism.  Only the leader can be a narcissist.  And don’t forget bully, expressly confident but scared to death at the same time.  “Communication” means me.

The cult, the sides, –we versus them–but Psychology Today says we’re right.  That is really sad.  But I guess now we’re talking about deprogramming and what is the opposite of programming?  Deprogramming, and that sounds even worse.

I know this person.  She has a deep-seated inability to connect with anyone unless it is her way and about her or “me”  She says “we” but what comes out is “me.”  Personal responsibility, and a lack of avoidance and secrets?  There is none if it is a cult.

Anyway.  Time for some serious legal work.  But remember, keep it simple.  Board is notified; next up are Shrader, Leibe, et. al.

The noise has stopped enough so I can think and write.

sleepprayplaylove

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https://www.timesunion.com/news/article/Bronfman-Salzman-and-two-more-charged-with-13100041.php#photo-2507249

Kathy Russell is known for her ability to travel great distances.  There is no joy in this at all.

Interesting that the feds charged the group with a state crime.