How to heal someone like Keith Raniere?
In practical terms it is over. He will not get out of prison. Others are safe from him.
Some, a lingering and dwindling few, may still revere him. He will continue his research and writing behind bars. He may even amass a following there, or through correspondence.
He will also have an incredibly difficult life.
He still believes it. Accepting a plea would have said otherwise to everyone including himself.
More to the point, and for others, how could Keith heal himself if he wanted to?
The answer to this last question is a longer one–more complicated, more effort, and without guarantees. A simple answer is stop believing it. Stop saying I am that much different, better, or smarter than everyone else.
Another remedy would or will be empathy. Remember, when Keith was arrested in Mexico hiding in a closet he was in bed with Lauren Saltzman. He has not been out of prison since. She has been there too, and she will return.
(A final, out of context note from me, the author. A lot of people are narcissists and of course virtually none are as dangerous as Keith Raniere. Malignant narcissist or psychopath are more appropriate terms. This is not an in-person or professional diagnosis. The distinguishing feature is an ability to justify hurting others.)
I’m glad I followed this since it became news. It is a huge lesson.
The lesson is narcissism is really hard to understand. Not that I studied it or was concerned with it the whole time, but it took me nearly 60 years. I mean, I am that old.
Self help? I have helped myself in recognizing it in myself and improving my behavior. But I have failed in explaining it and helping others. I need to try harder. I must find other ways. (Interesting, but I must not be a narcissist about it.)
Keith Raniere is smart and he is also a narcissist. I believe narcissism is more key than the intelligence in that he used the intelligence to further his narcissistic goals. He is a malignant narcissist–many people are narcissists but that is a step or more up. It is often said of these people “they don’t care.” They can hurt people because–not since, because–they do not care. They can rationalize it. They think they are right.
You say that in psychology there is always something behind it. What is behind it, what is the cause? It is narcissism. Alcoholic mother, estranged father, those do not help. It is narcissism.
Some might say he is a psychopath, that is the final step. With these people others are in danger.
Oh, and let Frank and the others have their day. He and many others have worked and hoped for his conviction. Justice, what is justice? I have always been fascinated by that question because often it does not seem to apply. This is a real consensus and closure. I will call it good, and long overdue, justice.
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